chcę zabić uderzenia twego serca
które niczym werbel
nabija rytm
raz po raz
nie chcę żyć pamięcią
nie chcę płynąć w Twojej rzece
pozornie czysta...
czy zanurzyłeś w niej ręce?
przyjąłem bez refleksji
teraz miotam się przez cały czas
myślałem
że mam wszystko
by iść do przodu
tylko jak?
tylko jak?
jak można być dorosłym
bez nadawania emocjom nazw?
mam prawie 40 lat
i ukryte pragnienie ojcobójstwa
a w sobie wciąż
niezarżnięty bunt
---
Desire for patricide
I want to kill your heartbeat
which drums like a snare
over and over!
I don't want to live my memory
I don't want to swim in your river
seemingly pure...
have you dipped your hands in it?
I accepted it without an afterthought
now I'm struggling all the time
I thought I had everything to move forward
but how?
but how?
how can you be an adult without naming emotions?
I am almost 40 years old
and I have hidden desire for patricide…
and rebellion still undefeated
deep inside myself
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